We live in the Information Age, or so I am told, the world is full of information, information at the touch of a button, information spitting it's juicy goodness right into your face, and you like it, you want the information in your face.
So why is the information I want impossible to find?
I want to telephone a company to inform them they've been incompetent - Can I find their phone number on the website? My arse I can. Even if the website has a 'Contact Us' button at the top of the page it certainly doesn't take you to a page with contact details, likely a page telling you the company has helpful customer service advisers working 24 hours a day to solve your issues. Well they are wasting their money paying a team of 'friendly and helpful' customer care staff to work 24 hours a day, I doubt anybody has successfully located the phone number yet.
If the page contains more than the tagline for their next TV advert it probably has a selection of 'Frequently Asked Questions' that will solve your need to speak to a human, though it's more like a scavenger hunt, and you have to find the clues and answer the questions in order to proceed to the finish line.
So finally after wading through the 'Forest of FAQ' you might stumble across a link to a 'Live Chat' thingy, well it's not quite a phone number but at least I can have a 'Two-Way Dialogue' with a real person (or a super advanced AI that would give Vest-Man a run for his money), though your hopes of resolving your problem as dashed by the heart shattering message 'Unfortunately our Live Chat service is not available at the moment, but you can speak to one of our customer support team on the telephone'. ARGH!!!!, and they don't even list the telephone number.
Are you getting Deja-vu yet?
Or recently I needed to give several organisations the address of the new Laboratoire, that was certainly not easy, especially HMRC who required me to know some special number to prove I am who I claim I am, only I don't know that special number, some other person knows that special number so I have to ask them what the special number is. So to prove I am who I claim to be I need to provide them with a number that only another person knows! In what world does that ever makes sense?
Can somebody also please tell me what the light on my Vax means - There is this red light that goes on and off, sometimes off completely, other times flickering, others flashing at regular intervals. I would guess it's telling me how much I suck at any given moment, but the instruction manual doesn't even mention the existence of a light, and most definitely does not explain it's various phases. I can only assume the light and the corresponding instruction manual were produced by a team of women (we have many female teams working tirelessly at the Laboratoire, getting to grips with some very long and hard problems), that would certainly explain why I have absolutely no idea what is wrong, and why when I ask the response is "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you!"
Oh, and there is a whirry thing that I haven't got a clue as to its purpose is!
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