announcement: good with hands

Christmas is just around the corner so it is the perfect time to launch a new product from The Laboratoire.
For those of you that have friends and loved ones that you wish would just go away you can give them a present that says 'Please never speak to me again, I clearly don't like you!'.
Inspired by the fad of giving people $h17 that they will never actually see such as a plot of land on the moon, a distant star or a herd of Reindeer I've launched my own scam heart warming appeal.

You, that's right, you, can now 'Adopt a Laboratoire', for just £50 you can help keep The Laboratoire turning out life shortening enhancing inventions and insightful critiques at semi-random intervals. In return for your donation you'll receive a unique and custom made gift pack which you can present to your beloved on Christmas day detailing the wonderful work carried out at The Laboratoire and a signed* photograph of The Laboratoire** in a beautiful presentation box***

For illustrative purposes only

* Signature of some random tramp we gave a half eaten Turkey sandwich.
** Photograph illustrative of The Laboratoire.
*** Stocks of the presentation box are limited and may be substituted for an envelope that has been used as a coaster.