mini-moan: my friend al.

I've had a hard time of it lately, what with my Laboratoire being quarantined and the expense and upheaval of moving to a new Laboratoire. But why is it people go 'Are you alright?'? No actually, but now you've asked that question everything is fine and dandy. Pandas are dancing beneath rainbows while monkeys spoon ice-cream into my mouth and crocodiles massage my buttocks.
When you ask somebody that question all you do is annoy them. If you are really concerned about somebody take my advice. Sit down next to them and say nothing, when they ask you what you are doing reply 'I wanted some company', if they want to talk they will talk.

Can we please kill the phrase 'Are you alright?'?

This reminds me of an xkcd about parenthesis the ?'? looks deeply wrong.
http://xkcd.com/541/