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Showing posts with label awkward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awkward. Show all posts

Thursday, 19 July 2012

mini-moan: the a is for 'illiterate'

Today I saw some marketing material which I believe was intended to convey the message of how versatile and flexible the companies product offering was. It may or may not have been worded 'All-around [redacted] for all your needs'.

Obviously the product is so large that it will envelop you which probably means it isn't "Brilliantly Simple", but don't worry I'm all over this and I'll go around to the marketing department and clarify the message they were trying to convey. 

It's nothing a bit of Tipex can't solve.

Sunday, 6 May 2012

awkward: rather apt

It's time for post number 101 and it seemed appropriate to me that I would use this as my own personal Room 101. For the uncultured readers out there Room 101 was the name given to "The Ministry of Love's" torture chamber where they would break the will of those that resisted 'The Party' by subjecting them to their 'Worst thing in the world'. This is of course from the novel Nineteen Eighty-Four.

This post probably won't be entertaining to read, but I don't care in this instance.

So what would be in my Room 101?

So many things annoy me, from my local Tesco Extra deciding to repaint all the disabled parking bays as mother toddler bays, well apart from the 5 furthest from the front entrance.  Letting agents trying to make me sign ludicrous contracts with conditions that can never be legal. BT constantly delaying the activation date of BT Infinity in my new house. But none of these would be enough to break me.

In the novel 1984 (Spoilers if you haven't read it). The Protagonist is threatened with being attacked by rats and begs that he be spared in exchange for the woman he supposedly loves instead being subjected to this torture.
My Room 101 would not be rats, physical pain, but instead the very act that Winston committed, betraying the one he loved. Winston was willing to sacrifice another to ensure his own safety, worst of all he sacrificed the person he loved most.
My worst nightmare is being unable to protect those that I love most, having them suffer while I could do nothing but watch or being too weak to endure and sacrificing them for my own safety. That is my Room 101.