daily life: last shred of dignity

The work on building a new Laboratoire after 'The Incident' has progressed well, I am now well into the furnishing and fixings stage so today I headed to my local boot fair to see what bargains I could obtain for fitting out the Laboratoire.

As you can probably imagine the Laboratoire works on a lot of highly secret projects and along with such projects a huge amount of sensitive paperwork is produced. So top of my shopping list was a shredder to ensure that none of these papers fall into the wrong hands. To my delight I saw 2 shredders available the first a standard shredder which simply wasn't capable of safely disposing of documents as sensitive as those produced by the Laboratoire, the second was a cross-cut shredder which would provide the appropriate level of protection. After a short haggling session where the seller guaranteed the shredder was in full working order I handed over my £2 and toddled off with my new security device.

Eager to start disposing of my sensitives I popped them into the shredder, I waited for the sound of 'peace of mind' to erupt but there was only the sound of disappointment (which I've grown used to). The shredder did not work, I even had the chief engineer from the 'Laboratoire Advanced Technology Division' poke at it with a screwdriver for several minutes but to no avail.

 I am absolutely outraged that anybody would sell an item at a boot fair that they clearly knew did not function, especially as they proclaimed so forcefully that it was fully functional whilst I negotiated the price. No wonder I hate humanity if this is how they behave.
It'll take me 200 days of clicking through to Kelkoo from TopCashback to recoup my loses, and that assumes a 100% tracking rate, if you believe that could happen you are truly living in a wonderland.

warning: not big and not clever

When I opened up the comments on my blog in response to a request by a fan (because I am that nice)  I warned you that certain behaviour would not be tolerated, and the other day a breach of trust occurred. Somebody posted the following comment on this post.

 This is completely unacceptable and I have a crack team of investigators from 'The News of the World' checking voicemails around the clock to track down the perpetrator of this vicious crime. Consider yourself warned.

And if another incident such as this occurs I'm cancelling the One Thousand View Question Answering Extravaganza, plus their won't be any cake.