entertainment: finish your lightbulbs.

I've never personally heard anodised aluminium making a noise, but I'm fairly sure it wouldn't be a horrible screeching sound even during the hottest part of the smelting process.

So why does Metal refer to music ruined by screeching. Eyes Set To Kill are a perfect example of this, the lyrics aren't bad, and the female vocals are pretty good, but then you have the 'scream vocalist'. I'm not sure how you can ever describe screaming like you've just been kicked in the gonads as a 'vocal', although if someone kicked me in the man fruits I'd be pretty vocal about it.

The brilliant thing is that the guy ruined his voice by their second album, at which point they should have realised that perhaps screaming should be phased out in the 3rd album, but no, they find another volunteer to 'lend their vocal talents'. An example of these light bulb munchers ruining music is below for your 'pleasure'

I wonder if the US military have ever considered releasing a CD of their 'Enhanced Interrogations', I imagine they could get some pretty good 'Scream Vocals' after a session at Guantanamo Bay.

If, for some bizarre reason you'd like to buy their first album follow this link, I believe I get money if you do ;¬)

daily life: in my day.

Older members of society often make wild statements like 'In my day things were built to last' and 'In my day we took more pride in our work'. Basically, take any product, food, activity, prefix it with 'In my day' and you instantly become 70.

But 'In my day TVs were built to last', but that day has passed. Less than 3 years ago I upgraded to a very expensive, flagship Sony TV, which after fewer than 2 years now produces pictures  like this.

And I am not alone, it seems that every Sony model from 2007, ranging from the flagship X series, to the humble V series suffer a variety of issues with the T-CON board reducing the HD quality images to a mangled mess, but at least it obscures Louie Spence's prancing about. 

Understandably Sony UK does not acknowledge this T-CON board issue because that would mean thousands of sets would have to be replaced free of charge costing millions, but the real kicker is Sony USA do admit the fault. Is a bit of consistent douchiness too much to ask for.

I'm usually the first to criticise our litigious former colony, but in this instance it seems that fear of litigation has made Sony USA do the right thing.

But don't think Sony are alone in producing shoddy merchandise even Derek Trotter would be too ashamed to sell. Lest we forget

Humorous 360 RRoD comment.

bargains: money saving tip #1

Every Sci-Fi fan wants a replica from their favourite series, and what better gift is there for a Star Trek fan than a Type-II Hand Phaser.
It's a lucrative market for replica manufacturers and a replica Type II will cost as much as $500. So why not save money by picking up one of these for less than £15, add £5 of silver paint, some permanent marker and a few sticky labels and you'll have a phaser so authentic you'll be dropping Borg left and right. Just remember to remodulate your pulse frequencies to combat the Borg rotating their shield polarities, but only rookies would forget something that fundamental.

Plus, you can re-enact classic episodes while grooming your dog. It's a win for all the family.

daily life: Dictionary Corner

How many times have you walked into a shop, or seen an advert on TV that says something like 'Buy One Get One Free on All Dog Food', but after rushing to the shop find out there is some small print that says 'Exclusions apply' or 'Stickered Products only' and the only dog food on offer is Chappie. No dog likes Chappie, any owner force feeding Chappie to their dog should be sent to prison and fed nothing but Chappie until the day they die.
But I digress, the dictionary definition of all means every single item, so how can a shop say 'All' and mean 'Some', 'Some Dog Food Half Price' doesn't have the same ring to it I guess. But what the hell are the Advertising Standards Agency doing with their time, probably force feeding dogs Chappie while laughing.

Remember, the half-priced cake is a lie.

driving: OK Commuter.

There is one thing us Brits are renowned for across the globe, our love of queuing. I hate to break it to you world but that just isn't correct any more, Britain has forgotten how to queue.
Nowhere is this more prevalent than the Petrol Station, where we queue up to almost literally burn money, only we don't queue up to do this any more because a new trend has reached Britain - The Pump Jump.

Next time somebody jumps the queue on you at the petrol station, or you see somebody Pump Jumping I want you to climb out of the car and chant Pump Jumper, Pump Jumper while pointing at the offender. Perhaps even rig up a crude petrol bomb because frankly, what better place is there to do that than a petrol station.

Together, we can stop Pump Jumping. Also, buy* one of my custom designed T-Shirts that clearly aren't just mocked up in MS Paint.

*To order a T-Shirt send me your sort code and account number and I will take the necessary funds and email you the T-Shirt via the internet somehow.

Entertainment: Hit me with your pricing stick.

Shock horror, some people in this world still buy CDs, and I am proud to say that I am one of those individuals. CDs are brilliant and compared to an MP3 much better value for money, that is unless you want to purchase a CD not endorsed by Simon Cowel. If the artist you listen to did not win Britain's Got the X Factor Strictly Dancing on the Stars it is a completely different matter.

While browsing Amazon the other day for some CDs I came across the following insane prices.

Jakalope: Things That Go Jump In The Night £28

Flyleaf: Remember To Live EP £17


Mankind is Obsolete: Rise £17

Die Mannequin: FINO + BLEED £24



This is just insane. And I will finish with my favourite Jakalope video.

technology: Should have gone to Specsavers.

Keeping up with technology can be difficult for even the most technologically minded individual, new buzz words are thought up by marketing to make 10 year old technology seem new and exciting, just look at how the Apple Newton iPhone that has revolutionised the way you don't make phone calls.

I'm sure everybody and their dog has heard the 3D buzzword, how 3D can turn even the most pathetic plot into the 'Greatest Movie Experience Evar' it's all about 'Perspective' you know.

Perhaps this is true, but like many of you out there I wear corrective lenses and trying to wear active shutters is like balancing a hippo on top of the Eiffel Tower.

In truthiness 3D was reintroduced a few years back to try and curb the haemorrhaging numbers attending the cinema (which has so far failed miserably). The TV manufacturers jumped on it as an easy way to beat the spiralling costs incurred in pursuit of improving LCD technology by simply updating the picture engines in their existing models and killing off the dynamic 3LED back-lights that were costing them a fortune.