daily life: the incident returns.

This afternoon at work I took a much needed break from 'cutting code' and decided to relieve some stress (as you can imagine I am boiling over with stress) by feasting on a variety of blue cheeses and crackers. I wandered over to the fridge located at the refreshment station to retrieve my blue cheeses and butter but to my horror my butter was nowhere to be found. I searched high and low, surely it must be hidden behind something, but no instead I had been the victim of a 'Butter-Thief'.
It isn't the cost of the almost complete butter (£1.40 at your local Tesco) that annoyed me, but instead that somebody had actually stolen it, made even worse by them not stealing my selection of cheeses which in my opinion would have been a greater haul.

So I have contacted my Chinese suppliers, met with a team of industrial designers, engineers and scientists and I can now announce the 'The Guy Who Moans Called Matthew Branded Butter Protection Kit' which is guaranteed to keep your butter safe from potential butter thieves. The kit comes complete with tgwmcm approved barbed wire, a complete set of tgwmcm Model FUC3RZ bear traps and a gaggle of cobras trained by the experts at the tgwmcm Laboratoire. Can you afford not to purchase my 'Butter Protection Kit'?

The kit is due to enter production next week and you can secure yourself one of the first kits to leave the tgwmcm manufacturing facility by sending a Bankers Draft for 'All My Money' made payable to 'The Guy Who Moans Called Matthew' to my Laboratoire and Hilda (Dorris' replacement because she still hasn't recovered from 'The Incident') will ensure you are placed on the waiting list.