announcement: fire up the pope mobile.

I know everybody gets great joy from reading my posts, and who wouldn't? They are immensely clever, unbelievably witty, expertly crafted by a master in the art and most importantly resonate with my loyal readers.

But I have decided that it isn't fair for me to hog the limelight, and I am giving one very privileged reader the opportunity to collaborate with me on creating a moan in the near future. This will be a full moan including hand crafted artwork and of course a masterful series of words sculpted to produce maximum enjoyment.

The lucky reader will get to meet their idol, me (although I will of course obscure my identity much like The Stig), spend the day with me, have a light snack, present me with an idea and of course collaborate on the post.

There will be an extensive screening process consisting of phone interviews, and series of scavenger hunts that become increasingly more challenging and a final challenge that will require you to be dropped in the wilderness with only a Space Hopper and your wits to help you survive. If more than one person survives the final challenge a duel to the death will decide who emerges victorious.

I am accepting CVs from now (contact details are below) and will begin whittling down potential candidates in the coming weeks. Candidates that make it through the initial CV round will be required to provide samples of their bodily fluids which will be analysed in my Laboratoire to ensure their bodies contain the minimum threshold of Moan-i-Clorians.

Please email your CVs to;

youCouldBeLikeMe[at]tgwmcm.com

Alternatively via post;

Office of the CEO

Moan Towers

MO69 6MH

United Kingdom